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December 9th, 2009
04:29 pm - No more
I thought we could start talking again but it seems that I was wrong. It seems like whatever I say gets twisted into something hurtful. So I've blocked all forms of communication for now. At this point I do not know if it will ever be possible for us to communicate or be close again.
Please help me be strong, friends. I still love him very, very much (more than I have ever loved anyone) but I really need to do this and it's going to be very hard to stick to it.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/bitospud/courier/red/sad.gif) hurting
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December 7th, 2009
06:18 pm - Cat Madness
I don't know if it was the rain or what, but the cats went kind of crazy with their hunting this morning. First Loki brought in a bird and made a big mess of it in my sister's room (she was *not* pleased). Then Nori brought in a lizard. I put it out. He brought it in again and Mom put it out. Then Loki decided to join in and he brought the lizard in; this time it was dead, so my sister put it in the trash. Loki looked around a little bit for it, then stopped for a moment and then dashed outside only to stop in the spot where we'd been putting it out and give out a quizzical meow. "Where'd you put the lizard?" I swear, that moment before he dashed out you could practically see the lightbulb go off over his head. That cat is too smart for his own good, I think.
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December 2nd, 2009
04:47 pm - Android Apps
My Apps:
Dolphin Browser - Described as a "social" browser, Dolphin Browser makes sharing with various social networks easy. You can also easily synchronize your bookmarks with Google Bookmarks. Supposedly it also works with Delicious too, but apparently since my Delicious account is linked to my Yahoo account, it doesn't recognize my login for synching. This is just about the only problem I've run into with it, though. It supports tabbed browsing and gestures too.
Panda Home - Panda Home allows you to replace your home utility and enables you to use prepackaged themes designed for pretty much any home program (ie, Ahome, etc.). But it's much more than that - it allows you to easily add extra screens and dockbars which are visible on every page. I've put my most frequently used apps there so I can access them quickly wherever I am on my phone.
Aldiko Book Reader - has a nice, appealing interface and a full selection of public domain books as well as books available for purchase (though I haven't purchased any yet, so I can't speak to that process). I haven't had much experience with eReaders, but this one seems pretty good.
For twitter I was originally using Twidroid but I recently switched to Seesmic because it had been getting good reviews. I don't use twitter a whole lot so I really haven't been able to figure out which one is better, though I like the Seesmic interface a little bit better.
Games
I'm pretty sure you all know by now that I'm a gamer, so naturally I've checked out a few of the games available.
Solitaire - (by Ken Magic) Contains four solitaire games, I'm mostly playing Forty Thieves at the moment. I like to play solitaire when I'm thinking about something because it's kind of brainless and gives my hands something to do.
Uniwar - This one was recommended by a friend (thanks, Bob!). It's a turn-based strategy game which has solo, campaign and online play, either vs. or co-op. I haven't explored the online play yet, I'm playing through the campaign first. It has a sci-fi setting, so there are mechs and giant buglike things and so on, lots of different unit types (I haven't explored them all), each with their own distinctive capabilities. (This one's also available for iPhone.)
Robo Defense - One of your standard desktop defense games, very well executed and quite addictive and challenging. I downloaded it yesterday and I'm still working on the first stage (I think I've gotten as far as wave 40).
If you haven't seen this, the Android Network Awards has a list of some of the apps that they recommend - it's worth taking a look.
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November 29th, 2009
10:49 pm - "I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing"
So a little while ago I was discussing smartphones with some friends. I was talking about why I liked the G1 and why I preferred the Android OS.
( In which I rant about objective/subjective values )
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November 26th, 2009
05:01 pm - Loneliness and thankfulness
Feeling kind of sad and lonely today. I guess because it's the first time in a long time (excluding that one Thanksgiving in Japan) that I'm not celebrating the holiday with a significant other. Not only am I ejected from Steven's life but also from his family - they welcomed me as one of their own and I always thought one day I officially would be, but obviously I was wrong.
My mom's extended family has a Thanksgiving get-together the Saturday following Thanksgiving, and it's something I look forward to and kind of dread every year. Again this is the first time in a long time that I'm not bringing someone with me. I know they will be understanding and they won't make me feel bad and it will feel better once I'm there, but I'm still anticipating it with a bit of anxiety and pain. I feel like a failure. I've been reconnecting with a lot of people I went to high school with and so many of them are posting stories about their families - their spouses, their children - and I feel left out. Marriage and kids is something I've wanted all my life and three times I've tried to make that happen with someone and three times I've failed. I thought the third time was the charm but I guess not and now I feel like it will never happen. This doesn't mean I don't feel like a whole person without it or believe that my life will be empty and unfulfilling - far from it. But I think everyone has dreams and goals for themselves and can understand the pain of seeing those things float away far out of reach. I'm not giving up, not really (I just can't - I really don't know how), but I'm really going to work on being detached about it. Next serious relationship I am in, I am not going to bring it up and I don't want to talk about it until they're serious. Of course, how can you tell? Every one of the three times, my partners reassured me that they were committed, that they were serious, that we were going to be together, and I believed them. Am I delusional? Am I a fool? And course, there's also the feeling that there's something really wrong with me, that people tell me they want to spend their lives with me and then they leave me. Maybe this is just the way the world is now, and I should stop believing in forever.
It doesn't help that I called a few people and only got their voicemail. At least I was able to talk to Sonya so I don't feel like a total loser.
I am thankful, too, though. It isn't all pain and angst. I'm extremely thankful for my family for always being there, being supportive and understanding and believing in me. And I'm also very thankful for my friends, who have also been very supportive and loving through the difficulties of the last couple of years. I'm grateful that I've been able to reconnect with a lot of people. I'm thankful that every year I come to understand myself a little better and that I'm learning how to take care of myself better. I'm thankful for all the wonderful experiences I've had and all the interesting, geeky and cool things I've learned. I'm thankful that there are video games to play and that I get to play them. All of these things I'm thankful for have been there most of my life and will continue to be part of my life, and I'm thankful for that too.
Current Mood: hard to describe
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November 19th, 2009
08:50 am - Argh, frustration
Since last night I have been unable to access Facebook at all. I still get messages in my email from them but I can't log into my account. So frustrating! I've cleared my cache, deleted my cookies, reset my browser and still nothing. I can't update my status on my phone, either, so it must be something wrong on their side. I contacted them through their bug report form so we'll see what happens.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/bitospud/courier/red/angry.gif) annoyed
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November 18th, 2009
06:34 pm - The Plan
I've been feeling a bit down for the last day or so, grieving a bit. Sometimes I think it's necessary, but I don't want to live there. One of the ways I deal with these kinds of things is to think about the future, envision what I want for myself and figure out the steps to get there.
The current plan I have in mind is this (I reserve the right to change my mind if something better comes my way):
Get a job, preferably in video games, and work for a while to save up money.
When I have enough*, go to Japan to live, working as an English teacher. I don't know what the options are yet as far as English teaching jobs, but I would really prefer not to work for a big eikaiwa company again. And it would be nice to be able to have weekends off sometimes, so I can go to some festivals and stuff. I'm hoping to be in the Kansai area - I'd love to be in Osaka, but I'm not too picky. Once I'm there, I'll try and schedule trips every other month or so, if I can find a way to swing it, like I did after I got a bit settled in last time. There's still so much I haven't seen!
I'll stay as long as I want to, I have no idea when or if I'll ever get tired of it. I know I'll get homesick and hopefully be able to visit home every once in a while.
*I'm still trying to figure out how much I need to set aside to get there. Last time I think I needed about $4000, I'll budget a bit more this time. I'm going to buy a laptop before I go and probably eventually build myself a desktop after I've been there a while.
Things I want to see and do there:
Go to festivals! I had to work weekends and evenings, so I didn't get to see very many festivals, and they are lots of fun.
Himeji Castle, Tokyo Disney, Hokkaido (maybe take the sleeper train from Tokyo, I really wanted to do that and didn't have the chance), Hiroshima
I hope I can find another dance group to join like the one I was in last time I was there. It was lots of fun and great for practicing my Japanese.
Go to concerts (Gackt and Buck Tick specifically, though I'm sure there are others)
Go to a Takarazuka play again (that was so much fun)
See a kabuki show/bunraku play
Have family/friends from back home visit me and play native guide for them
Spend a lot more time in Kyoto
Buy lots of toys, video games and manga
Visit some of the other islands, other parts of Asia
Visit onsen and stay in ryokan (traditional Japanese inn)
Eat lots of ramen, read reviews of restaurants and then go to them
Find cool little gifts to send home to my friends and family
Find a travel buddy (my roommates and my friend ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) shinimegami21 traveled with me last time and it was awesome)
Find lots of geeks to hang out with
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/bitospud/courier/red/awake.gif) optimistic
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November 17th, 2009
07:20 pm - You're the One
( Kate Bush )
Current Mood: sad
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November 16th, 2009
02:14 pm - Barefoot in the Kitchen
So I've started cooking again, which makes me happy. It helps having a large and enthusiastic audience - cooking for one or two just isn't as much fun for me. Last week my mom and I made a plan to go to the movies (we saw Paranormal Activity, which was delightfully creepy with highly believable characters) and then go shopping for ingredients for the dinner I was planning. We had some frozen pork at home (I'm not sure what cut but it was fairly lean, like a loin) which we set out to defrost before we left. I had this idea in mind of doing a Chinese dish with a mixture of the pork and ham with some Chinese greens seasoned with garlic and a little bit of heat. Before the movie, we went to the mall for lunch and some M.A.C. makeup and stumbled across a farmer's market outside. So we picked up some bok choy, green onions and a bunch of Thai bird chilies, leaves and branches intact. After the movie we went to Ranch 99 to pick up the rest of the ingredients (amusingly, I got chatted up by a random dude standing near the sashimi - he was baffled by the array of food stuffs there and I stopped to explain some of them to him). I was unable to locate ham, sadly, so we picked up some Chinese BBQ pork instead. We served it with sticky rice and some samosas we picked up at the farmer's market. It turned out pretty well, I think, though I still want to try it with ham and I didn't put enough of the bird chilies in - I used 6 and I think I could have used 3 times as much to get to the pleasantly warm level. I added some chili garlic sauce to try and make up the difference, but it still wasn't quite as spicy as I would have liked, and the chili garlic sauce added a little bit of flavor that I didn't want. As I'm writing this, I'm eating a bit of the leftovers for lunch and it still tastes pretty good.
Last night, I went over to some friends' house and ended up helping to cook a Mexican feast, which was a lot of fun. My responsibility was for the chicken (pre-seasoned from the carniceria), the ground beef (seasoned with onions, garlic, salt and a little bit of leftover achiote seasoning) and arroz amarillo (based on Rick Bayless's recipe, which I have memorized at this point, I've made it so many times).
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/bitospud/courier/red/happy.gif) chipper
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November 14th, 2009
12:58 pm - Happy geek is happy
Okay, now my phone does everything I used my PDA for (updating/reading my book database, looking up Japanese words and kanji, calendar and contacts) and is mostly superior in all those functions. I'm still not quite content with the Japanese dictionary options I have, though the KanjiYomi app is kinda cool (OCR for kanji with a fairly good kanji dictionary) and as long as I have internet access, it's virtually the same as what I had on my PDA (an app that I believe is no longer available but was better than any of the electronic dictionaries I could find). And of course my phone does a lot more than my PDA does. So I can finally retire my Palm Zire - no need to carry a phone and a PDA any more!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/bitospud/courier/red/accomplished.gif) accomplished
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July 22nd, 2009
03:27 pm - Astounding declaration
This is an amazing statement from former president Jimmy Carter: Losing My Religion for Equality, in which he explains that he is leaving the Southern Baptist Church (of which he has been a member for 60 years) because of their position on the status of women.
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December 31st, 2008
05:10 pm - New Year's greetings
Happy New Year everyone. So far this one is much better than last year. :-)
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December 21st, 2008
04:08 pm - Silly movie meme
SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 219 movies on this list. Copy this list, then paste it on facebook or on your blog. Then, put x's next to the movies you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click publish at the side.
(1) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(2) Grease
(3) Pirates of the Caribbean
(4) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
(5 ) Boondock Saints
(6) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(7) Neverending Story
( 8) Blazing Saddles
( ) Universal Soldier
(9) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Joe Dirt
(10) KING KONG either version?
() A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie (Joey made me watch it *shudders*)
( ) Passport to Paris
() Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(11) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(12) Halloween
(13) The Ring
(14) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving -MAS
() Flubber
() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(15) Practical Magic
(16) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(17) From Hell
(18) Hellboy
(19) Secret Window
() I Am Sam
(20) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
(21) The Day After Tomorrow
(22) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(23) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
(24) Gothika
(25) Nightmare on Elm Street
(26) Sixteen Candles
(27) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
(28) The Grudge
(29) The Grudge 2
(30) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
(31) Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
(32) Bourne Identity
(33) Bourne Supremacy
(34) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
(35) Predator I
( ) Predator II
(36) The Fog
(37) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(38) Curious George
(39) Independence Day
(40) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(41) Christine
(42) ET
(43) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(44) Maid in Manhattan
(45) War of the Worlds
(46) Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
( ) Best Bet
(47) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(48) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(49) Ever After
(50) Wizard of Oz
(51) Forrest Gump
(52) Big Trouble in Little China
(53) The Terminator
(54) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
(55) X-Men
(56) X2
() X-3
(57) Spider-Man
(58) Spider-Man 2
(59) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(60) The Little Mermaid
(61) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(62) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(63) Shrek
(64) Shrek 2
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street - both versions
( ) Old School
() The Notebook
(65) K-Pax
( ) Kippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
(66) Boogeyman
(67) The 40-year-old-virgin
(68) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(69) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(70) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(71) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(72) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(73) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
() Base-ketball
(74) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
( ) Elf
(75) Highlander
(76) Mothman Prophecies
(77) American History X
( ) Three
() The Jacket
(78) Kung Fu Hustle
(79) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(80) Monsters Inc.
(81) Titanic
(82) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(83) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(84) Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead - both versions
(85) Hook
() Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(86) 28 days later
() Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(87) Waterworld
(88) Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
(89) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
(90) Army of Darkness
(91) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(92) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
() Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(93) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(94) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(95) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
(96) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
(97) The Matrix
(98) The Matrix Reloaded
() The Matrix Revolutions
(99) Animatrix
(100) Evil Dead
(101) Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(102) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
(103) Battle Royale
() Battle Royale 2
(104) Brazil
(105) Contact
(106) Cube
(107) Dr. Strangelove
( ) Enlightenment Guaranteed
(108) Four Rooms
(109) Memento
(110) Pi
(111) Requiem for a Dream
(112) Pulp Fiction
( ) Reservoir Dogs
(113) Run Lola Run
( ) Russian Ark
(114) Serenity
(115) Sin City
(116) Snatch
( ) Spider
(117) The Sixth Sense
(118) The Village
(119) Waking Life
( ) Zatoichi
( ) Ikiru
(120) The Seven Samurai
( ) Brick
(121) Akira
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/bitospud/courier/red/tired.gif) tired
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May 15th, 2008
07:46 pm - Upsetting news
Six Baha'i Leaders Arrested in Iran
They were members of an organizing council approved by the Iranian government (as Baha'is in Iran are not allowed to use the normal Baha'i election process to govern their affairs). The last time the Iranian government arrested the Baha'i leaders in Iran in the early '80s, they were all executed.
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March 5th, 2008
02:39 pm - Good news!
I have a phone interview for a tester position next Wednesday. Wish me luck!
And a very happy birthday to  Lisa!
Current Mood: cheerful
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January 30th, 2008
03:38 pm - Tarot Meme
( Memeage behind the cut )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/bitospud/courier/red/sick.gif) sick
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January 29th, 2008
January 19th, 2008
January 11th, 2008
December 24th, 2007
01:37 am - My Band
- Go to Wikipedia. The first random Wikipedia article title that you get is the name of your band.
-Go to The Quotations Page random quotations. (wikiquote project) The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of yourfirst album.
- Go to Flickr and click on "explore the last seven days." The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
- Be creative. Post it.
Band: Biocurator
Album name: And All to Heaven (Source: Edward Coke, some dude I've never heard of. The full quote: "Seven hours to law, to soothing slumber seven; Ten to the world allot, and all to heaven.")
Album cover (photo by Denis Collette):
Current Mood: tired
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![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/bitospud/courier/red/amused.gif){kind=small}
amused